This is heights. First there was movies which clearly had a western cut-copy-paste not even trying to understand the sensibilities of the audience or the movie makers. Now we have great circus called the IPL which is the showcase of Indian cricket.

Qualitatively we had nothing Indian in the IPL. We had Lionel Richie, total USA bred and has audience in the Arab world. So? Then there was the Scottish singer Ali Campbell.  The Indian connection? Singing in the genre of reggae. Most Indians can’t even spell that, even the educated ones. Then Bjorn Again. Well, satire in India is a rare resource. ABBA+ satire. Period. Deepika Padukone then performed for some medley, which had songs from pseudo-Indian movies with a pinch of Black Eyed Peas. Ah the symbolic chakra created by the Hoola Hoopla team, how many were actually Indians? Well that was IPL 2010 opening ceremony. What are we highlighting here, are lack of cultural depth in the mainstream entertainment or the sheer ignorance of what we have?

So we had IPL 2 in South Africa. Would you look at that, Zulu dance, African percussionists and Pantsula dancers. Now that is just respecting and showcasing the local talent. What happened this time? Ah, who needs to eat dal and roti lets eat the pastas and momos instead? If we go back to IPL 1, same story?

And we talk about pride?

Now coming to the matches. Women in 2 piece bikinis in hot and sultry tropical conditions in India. Huzzah! To hell with cricket! And guess what these cheer girls are not from India.

Coming to cricket now, 3 out of the 10 top scoring batsman, were not Indians, and in the top 20 the usual devils like Sachin, Dhoni, Raina, Yuvraj, Rohit Sharma etc. Even the high scores had more overseas players compared to the Indian players. Bowlers had an Indian representation. Before you call me a bigot, how many overseas players were bowlers? Also look at the amount of games played by these highest wicket takers.

Coming to the format, we are no indigenous game changers ourselves. Flick it from the English, add a Punjabi beat, call it Indian! And EPL, Champions League, NBA, NFL, blah blah. Are our cricket administrators PHD’s from Indian universities?

Pubs in a stadium, is what is IPL. The whole party atmosphere and the DJs. And we do it in the open, like election campaigns!

I don’t mind IPL, because it can never replace the old world charm of Test cricket. But also in the name of cricket we can watch skimpily clothed women and we talk about liberating them.Yipee!

Like Bollywood which has messed up the movie space in India, we have IPL to water down what remnants of good old cricket- the way it is to played.

Music, Indian? OK Ok. Even the commentators,  DLF maximum(are the contractors of the stadiums in India, who punish the ones who hit the walls, for obvious reasons), Shitty movements of success, Carbon Camal catch etc , sad to see Harsha Bhogle (a victim of circumstance, like most :)) actually say that. This is Indian for sure. Learn marketing and stretch it, kills its elasticity and see people cringe.  And we have the usual suspects Shahrukh Khan, Shilpa Shetty, Preity Zinta and others epitomizing the great Indian adventure of copy pasting but with a jockey-elastic stretch(not intended, but still pun)

Talk about feudalistic ways,  is this not the best example, call it business but be autocratic! Balance is what we lack, in action and to an extent even mental.

That aside what is Indian about IPL anyway?

Footnote: Will try and get more numbers in! More later.