To clear things up, I have been critical of IPL, but I do watch it. Pushover? Nah, I am just a “sport enthusiast”.  Names of the IPL teams are the opposite of creative or they ones who came up with the names have highly concise dictionaries.

Lets start from the North.

Kings XI Punjab – OK, the name itself is not rib-ticklishly funny. But what is the message they are trying to get across? The ones who are not playing are ‘princes in the waiting’, like our Rahul Baba. (BTW notice that Political commentators please enlighten me if he standing for elections in Lousiana or Alaska. Yeah, Palin and Rahul have scored the same grades in the aptitude tests, according to reports). Coming back to our original Kings, do they come in chariots and say, Senapati, apna bat kahan hain? Is Preity Zinta their Queen Bee? Have to say amongst all the Bollywoody people, she seems to be where the action happens. Or is Yuvraj king? That would translate to Prince King, absurd!

Delhi Daredevils- Adventure sports has nothing to do with the team. They don’t jump off fighter planes and land at gully. Or they don’t face Shane Bond without helmets and the protective gear. But decent name nevertheless. So lets not bash them.

Rajasthan Royals– With Gagan Khoda the only player to get into the Indian team, with big influences from cricket administrators they are nothing short of being royal. Except they have a killing machine called Yusuf Pathan who is raw and puts Rambo to shame. Were they playing the good ol’ Book Cricket with an Oxford dictionary and voila, R came up, and the word they could digest was royal. R for Rajasthan. R for Rajahs, R for Royals. Ah, Marxist historians would be glad with the name. So just go  a little south to Saurastra and would they be called Saurastra Snake Charmers.

Kolkata Knight Riders– Karbo, Jeetbo something. Kkkkkk. Knight was how they arrived at the name. Unfortunately they could not come up with a winning strategy. Now they are pioneers in the advertising space. Kolkata Kings was the first one they came up with, but as the old saying goes too many kings leads to konflict, they said knights is the way forward. Riders was added to add to the Wiki entry . Kolkata Kirans, yeah right!

Mumbai Indians– Reinforcement that mumbai is the commercial hub of India? Or the sheer dominance of Mumbaiites in the Indian team. Making a statement eh? Or even the Ambani dominance of industry space in India. Scary and unknown waters. OK Aaamchi Mumbai. All better?

Deccan Chargers– Ok they do not charge down the track every ball. Or dear ol’ symmo does not do a Bhajji once in a while. In fact they charged down the points table in the first season and up the table the next. This time might do up and down, as they are not playing at home. Will they be split into 2 teams next year is the question. Telangana something and Andhra something?

Bangalore Royal Challengers– The biggest of the names and the biggest of the owners! Liquor baron. The conqueror of the Tipu Sultan sword. Type in the owners name, and there would be 2 nouns, royal challenge and royal challengers.  The ones who drink royal challenge are royal challengers! Again the word Royal.

Chennai Super Kings– Super is the superlative which can be added to anything which makes that modifier super superlative. Chennai Nalla Rajahs?

So East or West, North or South. We are Royal Indian Kings Riding Charged Devils!

Eagerly waiting for IPL 4. I P Losers. I Shit Winners!