Photography

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The expensive hobby which people like showing off. In most cases people cannot click to save their lives but they do exhibit their lenses and a DSLR. Weird photos are called art. Angles which make no sense are called new point of views. Narcissistic self portraits are ‘liked'”. The camera journeys through exactly 5 treks, a 10 minute one to an hour long ordeal into the wilderness, that is time away. Honeymoon, the better half can be missed, but not the image taking, time freezing equipment. If all the 3 are found together, then overtime clicks and umpteen poses orangutan, hands on the face, the face eating the sun (well, it is possible. Practice makes man perfect), the waterfall pee and the others. Photoshop means all of the above + more likes.

Click, click and upload on Facebook, Twitter, Chat rooms, dating sites etc. Update and like karma hits you and you reach one step closer to salvation. Nice pic. Whoa! Looking pretty. With some customary punctuation and some parenthesis, eg: [:), ;P]. After counting the likes, like the other photos. Return the favor. Once in a while put up the heroes photos to break the monotony, preferably from a movie release or the movie yet to release. Karma points++

Next organize photos, by date, by friends, join by happiness quotient. Sort it by importance. Take a backup. Curse Microsoft for making Windows and accentuate it when the Blue Screen of death hits you. Jog back the memory to see what you did at what gathering. Show it to people who show immense interest in your life, your kids, your house etc. Once in a while take an old pic and upload it to the social networks.

There was a time when photos meant something. A photo in the wallet really meant something. Or a wall hanging or a show piece actually made you go back to the time gone by.

As a hobby, you spent time with the camera clicking nature or other things and went through the pains of learning the physics of photography.

Like everything else, lets overdo and kill it. Video you are next!

 

Things one should know about popular movies

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While having a lazy mid – afternoon lunch at office, wherein we talk about anything and everything just to kill time, we discussed movies. Here are the FAQs

Bollywood movies are not reality and hence people watch it, nobody wants to see something real

This is one of those arguments which piss me off.  Reality is know to no one. None. As hard as we try, we can never know. If we knew it, we would plan to alter it. That is why there are experts in certain fields. A yogi, a doctor, a physicist, a historian, a film maker,  a baker, an author etc etc. I mean if  we knew what each of these people do in their everyday life, some would stories to us. The agenda of struggle through life for the mall going, KFC eating, car driving etc is a self created pitiable story, a struggle. What reality have we seen and what stories do we know? These shallow unoriginal reasons to escape reality is a mere travesty that is best ignored.

Popular opinions makes these movies a grand success

This is just the immediate fallout of democracy. Politics and Art are 2 very different things. Most people in India are agriculturalists and live in the villages, does that make it pertinent to go to these villages and till the land and sow the seeds. (clarification: this is not a dig at farming, for once who love jumping to conclusions). Movies offer a lot more, a look at stories, a summary of collective imagination and a brew of observations!

Realistic movies offer solutions

Nobody offers solutions. And if they do, they are being rather communist about it. Knowledge alone does not solve problems. And it is art, it is meant to entertain, if they show problems and offer solutions, you are watching a page 3- commie movie.

Watching foreign movies is super cool

Yeah right. So is living on Mars. But you cannot just bitching about movies made locally. Good ones come too and you got to be aware of that.

Movies reflect the overall sentiment of the society

This is crazy. Our movies are nowhere near undramatic lives that we live. Nor do we we live the meager life that the liberal movies showcase. It simply does not. Period

Has evolution or education made us spineless?

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Following blogs is what I have been doing for sometime now. I have written some, most experimental. As they say ‘handle with care’ is what it is. I have admired a few bloggers who for their clarity, their regularity.

Sandeep is expert for me(for manifold reasons). His insightful writing has ringed some bells in my head. Some complain that he vents his spleen on his blog(Certainly not my opinion);(lets consider he does) but is he to blame for that? The answer is a big no. I will leave it to others to figure out why he is not. Some of his critiques have attacked his writing, some his way of writing. Often the comments result in a war of rights and wrongs.

This made me wonder as to why people doing a lot of in-fighting. Why blame your own folk, call them impolite when the whole world is blatantly wronging them or their own folk? It is in fact quite vividly seen that most of these arguers are educated and also have evolved over generations of people ruled by the Moghuls and then the British.

Traditionally, we have become spineless and we are staring down the bottomless pit of self loathing pushovers. That is the new us.

Question now is to understand what has caused it, so that we can set it right.

The innocence of Sports

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Well sports has been the forefront of character building in modern age. Back in my college day I heard a tag line for sport event – ‘Not games, but sports’. Well, how are they different? For a words purist, there is a lot of difference. Like probable and possible. Both involve the common action- playing and not to forget winning or losing. Nothing beats the time when we spent hours under the hot sun topping it off with a brawl.

It teaches you limitations, it teaches you to push, it teaches you to remain silent, it teaches you to stand up, it teaches you that sometimes chips will be down, it teaches you to savor time at the top, it teaches you to celebrate, it teaches you to congratulate, it will teach you that you are good at something and bad at a lot of other things. Beyond all this, there is just the joy of playing!

Unfortunately now sport has become commercial in all the bad ways possible. A business where performance matters again with negative connotations. Back in the days, like most kids I wanted to play cricket for India; now i am just happy that I am not (not that i had the slightest chance). Now there are coaching class, personality development programs, leadership programs. You know how you could help your kids, leave them alone, let them play or not play.

Even people who do not play any sport experience learning from sports. It tells them that there are other things to do and do them well. Unlike now where systematized outcasts are created by giving facilities which just occupy time and not doing anything more. Naturally people pick up things that they are good at and that is where the power of choice comes in.

It gives us heroes, not by reading about them or by hearing about them but wanting to emulate them. Look at the whole cheer girl setup of present day (context of IPL). Cheers girls were not skimpily dressed because they can satiate the frustrated male but they were as fit as the sports persons were and the attire simply was a necessity.

Look at the beautiful sport of basketball, a victim of populist agenda. It is not alone though; pretty soon most sports are going the same way, thanks to interaction between each other.

Bring back the sport people! I know the joy of a good game and I am sure there is a whole bunch which wants to see real games and play real sports!

A look at Indian mainstream music

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Here is an attempt to document some of the facts of modern day Indian cinema music which is a major subset of the ‘pop’ular  music in India.

In the historical context, Indian music has  its beginnings in sama-veda. And there have been influences from Persia in the case of Hindustani and this has had subsequent effects on Carnatic music as well. Also the colonial era has changed it from its temple and darbar(royal chamber) roots to concerts, let alone the content itself, which classical music has made it a part of. But what has been a major influence is the popular music of the west.

Lets look at it using the rasas (emotion)- way. For more, read http://www.ee.caltech.edu/~gowaikar/rand/navaras.html.

Sringara rasa has predominately been the focus of popular music. I think it is more to do with supply-demand, and definitely it is one rasa which is economically viable.

Hasya needs talent. period.

Bhibatsya and Rowdra– Well disgust and anger is now a function of loudness and music which has no melody. In fact the music angers and disgusts more. And the Scandinavian nations, the other Western countries (death, trash… metal) are really angry about something, what are we angry about?

Shanta– Tranquil. Again a missing emotion from pop music.

Veera– Yes, we could see this in some of the older music. Now that nationalism is pretty much dead, and so is this rasa in our music.

Bhaya- Sudden raise in octaves does not scare anyone, only startles them. Would recommend to these pop-scare ones Bernard Herrmann

Karuna– OK, this is used a relief. Again it is used in the face. No subtleties involved.

Adbhuta– Not available.  Even if it is, it is a fallout of the Sringara rasa.

The other 2 rasas, recently added Bhakti has no place in pop music and Vatsalya again is used as a relief from the main agenda.

Indian popular music is low on lyrical content as well. 400 regional language words should do the trick. Music is flicked from the West, throw in a few Indian instruments and we have the showcase-able Indian music. Add a few reality shows to this and the music has hit a new low.

The myth of end of the world

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This article spawned off from one of the FB discussions. Everybody loves talking about the end of the world.  Some say 2012, based on the Mayan calender. Some say that global warming is the one which will sound the final ode. How about nuclear holocaust? Or a World war III, which I believe is in human control.

Lets face it, earth has not been the same forever right? As I have read, it was inhospitable at first. Then some ages came in. There have been tectonic dynamics effecting the population, meteoric hits wiping out the erstwhile dinosaurs. And the pitiable dinosaurs did not even do anything to get themselves wiped out.

The guilt of Industrial revolution

The industrial revolution is the biggest culprit which has  created modern day ‘evils’. Look at education, recent times wars, global warming etc. The perpetrators of industries have been twisting these to accommodate their business. So lets shut down ford, toyota, boeing, microsoft, infosys and hold these industry people for the evils they have bought upon us. No. In fact they are our heroes, remember unemployment as an evil in our social science text books. And the recent recession where the media went haywire and claimed ‘Unemployment has been the highest since the middle ages’. And they also claim that pollution is the biggest problem in this world. The need of the hour is not campaigns against end of the world, but systematic investments in alternate sources of energy and scientific methods to mitigate the risks development brings in.

Agenda

Everybody has an agenda and wants to fulfill it. What is expected out of climate guys? Give shocking statistics on how badly we have fucked the world! Media is worse. Dilute scientific  data to suit the understanding of the common man and voila better TRP ratings, increased circulation! The media is powerful and now they want to rub it in our faces. Play god! After Page-3, crime, they have found a new found love, nature. It works right, everybody wants to live in clean serene environments; use that, leverage that.

Of target consumers

This is the biggest fallout of the environment going awry. Scare the shit out of people.  Watch this for more

Nomenclature of the IPL teams

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To clear things up, I have been critical of IPL, but I do watch it. Pushover? Nah, I am just a “sport enthusiast”.  Names of the IPL teams are the opposite of creative or they ones who came up with the names have highly concise dictionaries.

Lets start from the North.

Kings XI Punjab – OK, the name itself is not rib-ticklishly funny. But what is the message they are trying to get across? The ones who are not playing are ‘princes in the waiting’, like our Rahul Baba. (BTW notice that rahulgandhi.us. Political commentators please enlighten me if he standing for elections in Lousiana or Alaska. Yeah, Palin and Rahul have scored the same grades in the aptitude tests, according to reports). Coming back to our original Kings, do they come in chariots and say, Senapati, apna bat kahan hain? Is Preity Zinta their Queen Bee? Have to say amongst all the Bollywoody people, she seems to be where the action happens. Or is Yuvraj king? That would translate to Prince King, absurd!

Delhi Daredevils- Adventure sports has nothing to do with the team. They don’t jump off fighter planes and land at gully. Or they don’t face Shane Bond without helmets and the protective gear. But decent name nevertheless. So lets not bash them.

Rajasthan Royals– With Gagan Khoda the only player to get into the Indian team, with big influences from cricket administrators they are nothing short of being royal. Except they have a killing machine called Yusuf Pathan who is raw and puts Rambo to shame. Were they playing the good ol’ Book Cricket with an Oxford dictionary and voila, R came up, and the word they could digest was royal. R for Rajasthan. R for Rajahs, R for Royals. Ah, Marxist historians would be glad with the name. So just go  a little south to Saurastra and would they be called Saurastra Snake Charmers.

Kolkata Knight Riders– Karbo, Jeetbo something. Kkkkkk. Knight was how they arrived at the name. Unfortunately they could not come up with a winning strategy. Now they are pioneers in the advertising space. Kolkata Kings was the first one they came up with, but as the old saying goes too many kings leads to konflict, they said knights is the way forward. Riders was added to add to the Wiki entry . Kolkata Kirans, yeah right!

Mumbai Indians– Reinforcement that mumbai is the commercial hub of India? Or the sheer dominance of Mumbaiites in the Indian team. Making a statement eh? Or even the Ambani dominance of industry space in India. Scary and unknown waters. OK Aaamchi Mumbai. All better?

Deccan Chargers– Ok they do not charge down the track every ball. Or dear ol’ symmo does not do a Bhajji once in a while. In fact they charged down the points table in the first season and up the table the next. This time might do up and down, as they are not playing at home. Will they be split into 2 teams next year is the question. Telangana something and Andhra something?

Bangalore Royal Challengers– The biggest of the names and the biggest of the owners! Liquor baron. The conqueror of the Tipu Sultan sword. Type in the owners name, and there would be 2 nouns, royal challenge and royal challengers.  The ones who drink royal challenge are royal challengers! Again the word Royal.

Chennai Super Kings– Super is the superlative which can be added to anything which makes that modifier super superlative. Chennai Nalla Rajahs?

So East or West, North or South. We are Royal Indian Kings Riding Charged Devils!

Eagerly waiting for IPL 4. I P Losers. I Shit Winners!

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